आलपिन कांड

आलपिन कांड

 

बंधुओ, उस बढ़ई ने चक्कू तो ख़ैर नहीं लगाया पर,
आलपिनें लगाने से बाज़ नहीं आया।
ऊपर चिकनी-चिकनी रेक्सीन, अन्दर ढ़ेर सारे आलपीन।
तैयार कुर्सी नेताजी से पहले दफ़्तर में आ गई,
नेताजी आएं, तो देखते ही भा गई।
और,बैठने से पहले एक ठसक, एक शान के साथ
मुस्कान बिखेरते हुए उन्होंने टोपी संभालकर मालाएं उतारीं,
गुलाब की कुछ पत्तियां भी कुर्ते से झाड़ीं,
फिर गहरी सांस लेकर चैन की सांस लेकर
कुर्सी सरकाई और बैठ गए।
बैठते ही ऐंठ गए।

दबी हुई चीख़ निकली, सह गए पर बैठे-के-बैठे ही रह गए।
उठने की कोशिश की तो साथ में ,कुर्सी उठ आई
उन्होंने , जोर से आवाज़ लगाई-किसने बनाई है?
चपरासी ने पूछा- क्या?
क्या के बच्चे ! कुर्सी! क्या तेरी शामत आई है?
जाओ फ़ौरन उस बढ़ई को बुलाओ।
बढ़ई बोला- “सर मेरी क्या ग़लती है,
यहां तो ठेकेदार साब की चलती है।”
उन्होंने कहा- कुर्सियों में वेस्ट भर दो
सो भर दी कुर्सी, आलपिनों से लबरेज़ कर दी।
मैंने देखा कि आपके दफ़्तर में
काग़ज़ बिखरे पड़े रहते हैं
कोई भी उनमें
आलपिनें नहीं लगाता है
 प्रत्येक बाबू
दिन में कम-से-कम डेढ़ सौ आलपिनें नीचे गिराता है।
और बाबूजी,नीचे गिरने के बाद तो हर चीज़ वेस्ट हो जाती है,
कुर्सियों में भरने के ही काम आती है।

तो हुज़ूर,
उसी को सज़ा दें जिसका हो कुसूर।
ठेकेदार साब को बुलाएं वे ही आपको समझाएं।
सज़ा दें जिसका हो कुसूर।
ठेकेदार साब को बुलाएंवे ही आपको समझाएं।
 अब ठेकेदार बुलवाया गया, सारा माजरा समझाया गया।
ठेकेदार बोला-
” बढ़ई इज़ सेइंग वैरी करैक्ट सर!
हिज़ ड्यूटी इज़ ऐब्सोल्यूटली परफ़ैक्ट सर!
सरकारी आदेश है कि सरकारी सम्पत्ति का सदुपयोग करो
इसीलिए हम बढ़ई को बोला कि वेस्ट भरो।
 ब्लंडर मिस्टेक तो आलपिन कंपनी के प्रोपराइटर का है
जिसने वेस्ट जैसा चीज़ को इतना नुकीली बनाया
और आपको धरातल पे कष्ट पहुंचाया। वैरी वैरी सॉरी सर। “
अब बुलवाया गया आलपिन कंपनी का प्रोपराइटर
पहले तो वो घबराया समझ गया तो मुस्कुराया।
बोला-
” श्रीमान,मशीन अगर इंडियन होती तो आपकी हालत ढीली न होती
क्योंकि पिन इतनी नुकीली न होती पर हमारी मशीनें तो अमरीका से आती हैं
और वे आलपिनों को बहुत ही नुकीला बनाती हैं।
अचानक आलपिन कंपनी के मालिक ने सोचा अब ये अमरीका से किसे बुलवाएंगे
ज़ाहिर है मेरी ही चटनी बनवाएंगे।
इसलिए बात बदल दी और अमरीका से
भिलाई की तरफ डायवर्ट कर दी !

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